i sit here and remember:
how you asked me out in front of the counseling office.
the time you got me roses.
how you used to bring me hot cocoa or tea.
how you used to make me so happy, i'd cry.
"sunday morning" by maroon 5
kissing in the rain and in the dark.
"hey i met you two days before your birthday."
"yea it was an early birthday present."
how our anniversaries always had two different months.
the icon love letter/email i sent you that took me two hours to type.
our "psycho" connection.
the alcoholic beverage thermos with no lid.
when we used to go "running".
our special spot on that person's steps on robinhood.
our special spot in front of childtime.
lutheran high school.
B-ME.
villa real.
the time we saw "kicking and screaming"
and "batman"
and "be cool"
and "guess who"
and "miss congeniality 2'
and "hitch"
and "meet the fockers"
and "oceans twelve"
the time we almost got caught in the movies.
the time we snuck into another movie.
the birthday card you made me.
11-24-04
12-17-04
02-16-05
09-07-05
the times you went shopping with me.
when you came over and we laid in my living room for almost 6 hours.
the time we set off the alarm at childtime.
howard.
the times we couldnt go a day without seeing or talking to each other.
the time everyone went to morp and we stayed at your house.
the night we layed out in the ditch.
sushi.
the time you sat on my toilet.
when we called each other at the same time.
the day we met.
the time you had to run a mile and you sat in the breezeway with your shirt off.
the days i'd just laugh at everything you said.
the ever-elusive picture of us at disneyland.
the pack of gum you gave me.
the 20 minutes we usually spent trying to call each other back
spending 2+ hours on the phone everyday.
food.
our secret smiles.
the times id pout at you and you'd just kiss me.
the times you told me a joke and i'd laugh so you could feel funny.
buying hott chicks at the vending machine.
the time i came alone just to watch you play at a basketball game.
you and your anime.
the times you'd blow off johnny and jesse for me and i'd tell you not to.
that night when kyle drove off without you.
the days we spent lunch at the asian tree.
when you used to let me borrow your jacket.
the bonfire.
my chemical romance.
hellogoodbye.
6th period.
brennas's backseat.
norway's backseat.
the lost yearbook entry you wrote.
chicken nugget tuesdays.
the time i made you call me baby.
cookies.
DDR.
rice krispie treats.
the 5 people you meet in heaven.
the aquarium.
spearmint.
the days we'd hide.
when we were in our own little world.
when you used to be MY loser and no one elses.
the day i ditched school to meet you at disneyland.
the days i'd ditch AP meetings for you.
belmont park.
your little smilies.
"oooh"
when you had your stomach problems and i'd encourage you to get better.
the times you'd let me win an argument.
yahoo pool.
your bike.
my sneakers.
the outsiders.
"game? what game? i'm here for the band."
boba trips.
the times when i re-wrote your essays.
lunches at elite.
"what the pho?"
"dan its FUUHHHH, not FOH."
marshmallows.
the way i'd teach you a new word everyday.
old navy shirts.
crepes.
the time we almost got caught in front of your house.
your scooter.
the KY.
your skateboard.
the black collered shirt i loved.
the time you thought u were losing me.
"nooo stay here and make out with me"
fuzzy dice.
the times you called me gorgeous.
how you forgot my name.
the days when we were practically glued at the hip.
how you said you'd never leave me.
our nap times.
the time i bought you a reversible belt.
chocolate runs.
Ralphs.
the little notes you used to write me.
CPK at the aquarium.
the time you wiped away my tears.
the times you'd hold me like you never wanted to let go.
when you'd listen to my past and tell me what a strong person i am
(even though i dont feel strong now)
the times i'd tell you that you were my one and only.
goosebumps.
the times i'd compare other guys to you and you'd always be the winner.
our missed park dates.
my tan lines.
the way we'd laugh at our own jokes but no one else would get them.
your D&G cologne.
"dan come over here and caress your girlfriend!"
being whipped.
the times you'd just let me cry and sit there with me.
the time you and brenna brought me boba after you ate some "craps".
you and your little flashlights.
when i'd grab you around the waist and hug you fiercly.
fishsticks.
random little gifts.
when we watched the sun set.
the days we'd come to school wearing matching clothes.
black vans.
eskim-hoes.
"hey hannah wouldnt it be cool if we could teleport?"
the day we first kissed...
or held hands.
when we went to the mall with norway and tim.
when we played "ive never" with them.
the times you'd brush away my hair to kiss me on the cheek.
the time everyone told us we'd have hott babies.
when we'd spin around in the ralphs aisle like we were dancers.
the nights you spent making a tripwire.
how you'd always reassure me when i was scared.
the nights you forced me to do my homework.
the way i'd run my fingers through your hair telling you not to cut it.
how everyone bitched at us to get together already.
the nights we'd plan things to do in the future.
the mental list of things we still needed to do with each other.
the time i told you i loved you.
the time you said it back.
the times id cup your cheek and tell you that you were amazing.
the times we'd just stand there just so we could be near each other.
the times you were late to class for me
the times i was late to class for you
the times you said no one was prettier than me.
the times you said you'd love me forever.
the times you said you'd never break my heart.
the times when i believed you.
the times you loved me.
and now im sitting here, ripping apart the calender i made for our one year anniversary. each day filled with something that happened on that day or a reason why i love you, and a lot more memories that wouldnt fit on the days is handwritten on the back. the pictures of us glued into it slowly are tearing in half just like we have. i sit among the shreds hating the way we are now and what its all come down to.... i take a deep breath, and let it all go slowly... each passing second erasing a memory.
ynfyfl </3
this is the end of my xanga. gbye folks. i hope you've enjoyed your stay with me at xanga, but as i've learned, all good things must come to an end. see you again someday.
| 
